I have read what every one has said and thank you all for your input .

I grew up in a violent , alcohol , abusive home , when I was adopted as
a baby .

I learned from my adopted father on how to deal with anger ,
If my dad was angry at our dog he kicked it , so I learned that animals are nothing but an object . I have a history of animal abuse , it was my only outlet to express my anger .

Do I love animals YES I have learned that they are special and known to save lives .Should I be around them ... no because I can snap and I don't trust
myself . But I do like animals !

I have inner rage , not just mad but rage inside me ..

The time I really need a T is when I am in my " rage " to talk me down to calm me down so I can think and not react .