you have power over all those fears. are you in therapy to help you with your anxiety? I think it could be helpful. many of them are normal worries. a lot of it is not letting your mother have power over you. you make the decisions in your life now, it does not matter what she thinks. you have no reason to feel guilty because your choices are different from hers. it doesn't sound like you are making poor choices. perhaps you can work on your self esteem so you can feel confident in your choices and then you wouldn't question what you are doing so much. take care.