so i am new to DID diagnosis and still have difficulties accepting it. we experience coconsciousness so most of the time i know what is going on. t wants to really start working with them. but the more we work, the more they seem to be doing things on their own. it is like i am not longer manning the gate. i come home and find a drawer to a desk open that i never use, a contact lens sitting in the middle of my bathroom floor when i haven't used them in years, an alter coming out in a meeting because she is fascinated with the dramatics of a person speaking. i am used to them talking in my head but i never had experienced one taking over my body before. then i had a meltdown the other day and it happened again where my suicidal alter fought me for control. it made me so sick. but then i question it because when t talks to them, she will ask questions and sometimes there are no responses there so i feel like i am faking the whole thing. i get edgy when she wants to talk to them because 1) she will discover i am making it up 2)talking to them will give them more power to over ride my life and that scares me.