i'm on these meds that make me kind of dopey. i evade sleep cos i hallucinate and didn't know where i was the other morning when my husband tried to wake me up. when i do sleep i have terrible dreams. i wake up feeling 8 years old and scared and anxious and 'he' is still in my thoughts all the time just about. i seem to go from one disaster to another and im at the end of my tether. i cant go back to doc he wants me to give these tablets a chance, i ought to just bed down at the surgery the amount of times i've been. i had a letter from the university pdoc who wont treat me, local psychiatric unit wont treat me until i have my meds sorted. i feel i am going in circles. i've started not going out at all, the phone makes me jump, my sons guitar playing is screeching at me like it's trying to drive me insane my daughter stays awayand my husband is only happy when i'm in bed or he's at work. my mum stopped calling, my friend called me once.i cant call anyone anymore. i think i've lost the plot i cant take anything else on board i cant smile i can cry, plenty of thatwhich i spose is good.i'm a mess and a waste of space at the moment i'm even wasting your time through self ugly pity.
ugly ugly ugly.i serve no purpose anymore.
wtf.