I am 19 years old and in my second year of university, and I don't know how I feel about anything. I like to think i'm relatively smart, I've always got good grades at school and never had trouble making friends. However, i'm almost certain there's something wrong with me. I work a lot outside of uni because it takes my mind off things and it means I don't have to find things to do with my spare time or talk to my friends too much. I haven't had a girlfriend since I finished a two year relationship three years ago, and I haven't actively tried to find one because i don't know how to. I haven't had sex in over a year, but i always think about sex and masturbate a lot. I often feel like my mind works in a completely different way to everyone else's, and I don't enjoy doing things that other people do. All of my friends enjoy drinking and going out clubbing and doing things like that, but I don't really enjoy doing things like that. I am a very tidy person and like to try and stay as organised as i can, but i often feel helpless and i am always bored. If i have a lot of free time, i never know what to do even if i have lots of things to do. I will sit around and scroll through ym phone, avoiding conversation and thinking a lot, probably too much. I always think about things like, what if my friends don't like me, what if i don't like my friends, what if i were to start a new life, how insignificant my life is and why i even keep going. I am not suicidal in the slightest, however, i just sometimes like to think about what would happen if i were to die. I have had acne problems since i was about 14, and even though none ever comments on it, i always feel ugly and like i would never be able to attract a girl. Despite me having all these confused feelings in me like i don't know whats wrong with me, or if there even is anything wrong with me, i will feel completely different the next day, i will be talkative instead of introverted (which i normally am), and i will dismiss all my previous feelings as me being stupid, over-sensitive, or over-emotional. i will probably regret sending this and feel like an idiot for letting my emotions take control of my brain, but i have a lot of difficulty controlling them. I have not cried since i broke up with my girlfriend years ago, and i always have trouble expressing my emotions, whether it be love, anger, compassion towards friends and family, or anything else. There are a lot more things going around in my head, but most of them i don't even know how to describe. I really hope someone reads this and helps me, and i will be really grateful. I just want to know if there is something wrong with me, or if this is completely normal, i just don't know. Please, someone help me, I will be really grateful. I'm sorry this was so long-winded, but i just don't know how else to put it.