Ryan, it's good that you couldn't do it. You should talk to someone, as Hallie suggested, like your pdoc, therapist, or maybe an understanding family member.

What has happened that has made you feel so lonely and down again? Since you stopped yourself in the past and this time, of course, what is it that helped you get out of that place where you are feeling like you want to self-harm?

Good for you for not doing it.

Seesaw