Dearest

His being fetish said it all. He is unable - emotionally - to have a relationship with a women! Why? because for him a women is an object (fetishism) therefore, the direction you should go is not what you're doing and it's not this devise or another....
Something inside him died long ago (its also could be a form of "emotional castration"...) Therapy that goes deep into his childhood and relationship with mother/father should be explored (maybe more with the mother) the mother in his mind (uncons. of course) is like the gatekeeper where no other women can enter.... As far as you go - you should ask yourself why you chose that kind of man! - I may sound sharp but I'm taking the time with lots of compassion to express my unusual point of view - so it seems like you have chosen him because of this and that BUT he fills for you something very importent - i.e., you may have not been able to handle a relationship with a man who is sexual as you are - that would be too threatening.. so You chose someone who cannot threaten you - emotionally (and sexually of course) - there is something here that both of you should learn and grow from - and the issue first is emotional then sexual.
Love
Leela