I had written a lengthy and if you don't mind me saying - rather good response to this thread. And then my computer pulled a fit.

Darg gonnit.

Anyway, the emphasis was on manipulation being somewhat necessary to life and not solely negative in it's purpose. Yes you can be manipulative on a less conscious level but i get the feeling that even those who decide to manipulate don't have to think about it much anyway. I feel sort of deficient in that particular skill. If i'm going to be manipulative i'd at least like more control over it's use

Is this thread in regard to your cousin? Well, we know the details of that situation; it's deeply entrenched and involves abuse on both sides. She is not in a position to offer criticism considering her previous behaviour - nor are you in a position to solicit such information based on your own difficulties.

As for the rest, i was imploring you to find a way of joining your father despite any obstacles which might have prevented this from happening sooner. I don't know the ins and outs of the US health system nor am i aware of your families current circumstances, but there must be a way of seeking help which supersedes your mothers disinclination towards therapy. You posted about feeling suicidal recently - when is enough enough? Get the authorities involved if you have too. It doesn't mean that you don't love your mum, of course you do, but you have a right to adequate support and therapy - neither of which are currently being facilitated.

Please know that for all the negativity you're currently experiencing - you have a wealth of support and cheer leading on offer to you here for as long as you need it.