I'm a person that just likes to get to the point so here it is. Besides having my own PTSD depression & anxiety issues I'm a recovering alcoholic. We have a large family (five teenagers). My husband was diagnoised with Bi-Polar manic depression. He has been treated with medicine for over a year probably two now. He lost his job a few months ago after being there ten years. The job search has been terrible. His depression is getting worst. It turns from depression, to defenseful, to rude/mean to us. I can only be positive and take so much but when I have to bring him down a notch it just makes him worst. Saying that everybody hates him, he is worthless. I'm exhausted trying to be positive and keep the family life happy and not dreadful. But today my husband got up and was on the verge of crying all day. He couldn't even explain it. I think he is taking more than he is suppose to of his medicine just so he can sleep. For the first time I truly felt I had to sit him down and ask if I need to worry that he would hurt himself. He said no but this depression is severe.
I'm exhausted and conflicted. How much longer can I and my kids walk on egg shells. I try to be positive but he sucks it right out of us. And everything has to do with him. He has no regard to the load that I'm carrying. I want to help him but I'm getting tired. I'm feeling lost. Any thoughts?