For years I was stuck in the cycle of eating too little or almost starving and then overeating, while my weight fluctuated wildly and was steadily creeping higher and higher. I did anything I could think of to stop the overeating. I tried to look for triggers and found no pattern, I tried eating plans only to get back to where I started. Then, one day, three months back, I realized something. I needed to have a look at the restrictive part of the cycle because that is the problem. I dedicated myself to eat enough, everytime I'm hungry and as much as I need to and not add external limitations. The urge to overeat was gone like a charm. I even lost a few pounds - I know it's not much in 3 months, but considering that my weight is stable and not all over the place it kind of feels good. I need to lose some more weight, though.

That is why I'm considering going on a diet. But I'm scared. The cycle of extreme control and letting go completely is deep in my brain and as I realized, spread over my whole life, from sleep patterns to working habits. Needless to say, balancing it there is now also a goal. I'm afraid that if I go on a diet now, I may end up right where I was. I remember that several times before I tried to be reasonable about eating and follow a proper eating plan in order to lose weight, only to unknowingly slide into severe restrictions again that were followed by overeating. But how am I supposed to lose weight?