I knew she disliked how she was more on heavy side, and so if I was upset with anything she did, I would bring up her weight somehow to make her feel bad and worse than how I was feeling. I wouldn't tell her what the problem was, I just had to see that at the end, she was feeling horrible. And then I would make sure that she saw that she was the one making herself feel horrible, and not me. I would then say nice things to her, pretending to cheer her up although knowing she wouldn't feel as good as before, but just so she would see me being "good" to her.

I don't have any detailed examples to write out here, but these were the stuff I'd do to her before... I don't really know why I just didn't tell her outright what I felt, though now I think it's because of the huge ego I had back then and me wanting to control her. Back then, however, I didn't even think of this as being a horrible thing to do, not until I read a book from the perspective of an abuser who did similar things to what I did that I realized this was actually a real horrible thing to do.

Anyway, I'm not sure anymore if it's abuse. Apologies if it's the wrong usage of words...