Things do have a way of getting better though...
I don't believe its okay, but then i'm not in your shoes, so i really have no right to say one way or the other. And i have no right to judge.

The only other thing i can think of though, is have you been diagnosed with anxiety at all? Have you been on any meds for that?

By telling people, they are legally bound to making sure that you wont kill yourself... (or so i was told at age 19). I couldn't understand why i was stuck inpatient, and why they continued to stop me, and why they wouldn't let me. they seemed mad and not understanding when they caught me.. as if them shouting at me not to do it again would help. They also treated me like a burden on them and they were "tired of" me.. which also didn't help in the "not do it" area of things. But one of the times the charge nurse told me that even if he could let me go through with it, that he legally couldn't, and he would be in trouble legally if he did "just leave" me alone.

I hope you don't go through with this though. You would be severely missed.