You are in a very difficult position as a support network is a crucial part of it. I would suggest reading a lot and posting on this forum or similar ones. Use online support groups if that is all that is available. If you can find friends in real life who understand than do so.
I would suggest teaching yourself CBT
Journaling
Taking up meditation and mindfulness
Diet, Exercise
If you can't get meds look into supplements like fish oil, vitamin D, Melatonin, 5HTP, St. Johns Wort, L Methylfolate, B vitamins, L Tryptophan
I know how hard it is if you can't get out of bed. Start with what you can do.
In-Depth: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy | Psych Central
CBT Therapy Worksheets & Self-Help | Psychology Tools
How Does Mindfulness Reduce Depression? An Interview with John Teasdale, Ph.D. | World of Psychology
Three Ways Mindfulness Reduces Depression | Greater Good
How to Meditate - Guided Meditation Techniques - Buddhist Meditations
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The "paradox" is only a conflict between reality and your feeling of what reality "ought to be." -- Richard Feynman
Major Depressive Disorder
Anxiety Disorder with some paranoid delusions thrown in for fun.
Recovering Alcoholic and Addict
Possibly on low end of bi polar spectrum...trying to decide.
Male, 50
Fetzima 80mg
Lamictal 100mg
Remeron 30mg for sleep
Klonopin .5mg twice a day, cutting this back
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