I worry that my son will view me like you view your mom. I don't have a "mother gene". I think coping skills ,will come as soon as you figure out what exactly triggers you. Is it her voice? Is it been in the same room as her? Is it the house? Yes, you may have to talk about her to find out what exactly about her/home triggers you to learn coping skills.
You're able to tell T you're "off limits" topics.