Update: So yesterday, when I went to go pick her up at work she tried to act all cute and loving in the car. And I kind of lost it. I became so angry that I just told her off - I wasn't screaming, or throwing anything like that. I didn't punch anything metal either (which is kind of a growth for me, as I usually handle frustration by punching metal or stone). Instead, I told her I was upset and outlined why. I told her she had promised to be more considerate and agree that we would talk things out - not issue threats and ultimatums.

She apologized. She didn't make excuses. She said I was right and that her behavior was deplorable.

Still, the process of all the above was exhausting. At the same time, I'm really glad I did it. She was going to ignore the whole incident, push it down, and I made sure that we talked about it and I expressed my anger. It was hard for me. Very hard.