This is NOT your fault. You might want to see a doctor to figure out why intercourse is painful but this "boyfriend" is no friend. No one should have sex just to keep someone around, he is being emotionally, and even physically/sexually abusive. You need kindness, and time to get to know someone-----please be good to yourself, let him go. It will hurt but you have to tell someone else, not him, how you feel, and have something to do, someone to call when you begin to doubt yourself. You will feel better, and stronger when you can stand up for yourself and tell him NO, and Goodbye. I am sorry your first experience was so painful and negative. What he says is not true. But, he will keep on saying it...you can't change him. We all imagine how it could be/should be, you will be losing a dream, a fantasy, not the real thing.