Thank you all. I still cant believe that he is the one who does wrong, I cant believe Im okay. Every man I ever dated always wanted sex. Its so normal but I.. I feel raped but I let him do it because I want to be normal and if I cant have sex it seems like Im not normal. Maybe its all just a lie he ttold me but it seems its true. If man or woman cant have sex its sickness.
I think its painful because I dont want it. Or I want it but not when we do it.

I dont know if I could talk about this to ttherapist. I told him little about these relationships abd started to feel worse.
I think Im gonna see female T because I think that my T like all men agree with my boyfriend and think that I am sick. I dont know what my T thinks but he was shocked when I told him I am virgin but maybe he forgot it. Im 23.