To Linden23, thanks for the reply. I also came from a very loving family, I am an only child. I never noticed my dad's behaviour though. I never realized the effect it was having on me, until recently. Your mom's behaviour doesn't sound normal at all. In 99% of cases where the person (child) struggles with relationships, the causes can be traced back to the marriage of the parents or an individual parent him/herself. I had the same problem. My dad was my hero when I was a little boy, and I thought the way my parents did things was the be all and end all and the right way it should be done. I thought arguing, shouting, and physical altercations were the norm in a marriage. It's only until I heard other kids parents get divorced when that sort of thing happens that I learnt wow, this stuff is not normal at all. I am thankful that I have learnt that and I can honestly say that I have always been concious of making sure I do not do any of those things with any woman I am with one day. I'm glad I realized it's not the norm. When I think of my lost girl, or my current lady, for example, I can't ever imagine shouting at her or hitting her. But, despite this, I know after observing this for so many years and it sticking in my subconscious, it must have caused me damage somewhere. Truth be told, relationships scare the hell out of me and I always think what if I snap and become like my dad for just a moment?

The problem is our minds can shut out things and make us believe things are all OK when they are not. I think maybe there is something from your childhood that is being suppressed somehow. I have repressed memories too. For example, I gained quite a bit of weight round the age of 9 or 10, and I can't remember a single thing from those two years of my life. All I can remember is it starting off with some horrible teacher that used to pick on me, and then my mind goes blank after that. Two years later, I end up with all this extra weight and children making fun of me and I don't know what happened.