I've often thought that smart people need help knowing how to deal with being smart. I think there are certain challenges that smart people need help dealing with. Have your read any of the existentialist philosophers? I can't promise that you'll feel better but you'll get an idea of how other thinkers have dealt with the absurdity of life and the fear of meaninglessness. Kierkegaard wrote an interesting essay on Sisyphus. It's a little dense, but thinking about it helped me. Personally, I ended up liking Voltaire's approach: Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget to sing on the lifeboats. Trust me, you have interesting ideas. Why not make a college counselor's day and share some of them. It's free. Why not? Oh yeah, and there are some things which you're written that sound like what I say when I'm depressed. Have you read up on depression yet?