I can totally understand trying not to be an attention seeker, I too try not to post and think many times before posting any threads.
But I don't see you here trying to get attention yet someone in dire need of convincing and help to see what best to do.
Think about yourself, for once in your life put yourself as priority. She can tell whether you are suicidal or not and being a therapist she can decide whether to wait to respond till tomorrow or respond to you now.
You need her now, you have someone you can contact. Do so. Show you did yours and then the rest remains in her hands. She's the processional she's the one that can make these decisions.
((((((Teal)))))