I just spent the Thanksgiving weekend with family. I genuinely enjoyed Thanksgiving day with relatives, cooking meal, watching football and National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. But when I went to sleep at night, I felt an overwhelming sense of emptiness. That wretched feeling of loneliness and that I will never have a woman to share that joy with and that I'm meant to be alone. It just hit me right as I turned off the lights that I only have a couple more Thanksgivings on this earth before I leave unless a miracle happens to me.

Sorry if I'm not making sense, but I just feel a sense of hurt which is only going to grow this month as more anniversaries of losses and feelings of hopelessness creep in