At a certain point we have to stand back and see our parents as people. They are not perfect, they have many imperfections. Just like us. It is shytty that your mom could not parent you the way you desired. I left home at 17 due to a dysfunctional home situation in which my mother was abused and did not stick up for herself. She did not help me when I was severely suicidal and knew about it. When she was told by the doctor that he knew I was in an abusive home at age 16 but almost at an age to move out. She did nothing. All kinds of stuff happened. But anyway, the point is, at some point you may consider stepping back and looking at your mom as having done the best she could under the circumstances. And finding ways to make your life fulfilling and nourishing to you now, in ways she cannot. I say this with a gentle hug and a warm heart. Only you can ultimately decide how you want to let her into your life right now, but know that just because she was not there for you in all the ways you needed does not mean you cannot create a rich and fulfilling life for yourself now.

I hope this post doesn't come across the wrong way. Triggering topic for me, is all. Sorry.