So I know most cutters try to cut in places to hide self injury. I have the additional nasty habit of focusing on cutting my face.

I was doing really well, had gone more than 30 days without cutting. I had lots of urges but managed to fight them. For me, something triggers me into a dissociative state, and then I cut. So I have to fight the dissociative state, but sometimes, I just lose.

I don't even think I resisted tonight. Of course, I've been in and out of dissociation for the past week probably. It was pretty bad--only two cuts, but both very deep and on my face. I remember at one point there was an intention to cut all the way to my cheekbone. Thank god I was able to stop myself from doing that.

I have to go to the Mental Health Urgent Care clinic tomorrow. It's at the hospital. I'm really freaked out that they will try to admit me or commit me. What I really need is for them to help me adjust my medication.

Any suggestions for how to act or what to say to make sure they don't commit me?

Seesaw