I'm sorry that you are in such a bad place right now! I know what it is to be lonely because I feelit every day but I have to keep going because there are family and friends who still want and need me. They love me and for now that is enough to keep me around. You are not alone. There are many of us out here. Look for the good things in your life like the relatives you were just with. make those your reasons for living until someone special shows up.