Quote:
Originally Posted by StbGuy
I'm going to assume, yes, your dad was loving, but was he away from home almost the whole day, working hard, or even away for periods of time, leaving you, your siblings and your mom at home? In other words, was he a very busy, hard-working man?
|
You've thoroughly described my dad, completely spot on. And yes, I think my dad was also pretty distant when I was younger too. As far as I can remember, in my teens, I always felt awkward around him when it was just him and I. I never knew what to say, and he wouldn't say much too. I know he loves me a lot, but I don't know, at times I just couldn't help but feel uncomfortable, even though I don't think he had intended it. It was only after I left home for college that I found I could hold a meaningful conversation with him and we started talking more. I never saw this to be a problem, but now I wonder what would it have been like if he had been around more often.
Like you, though, despite me feeling awkward around him, I also always saw him as my hero, and also like you, I also always thought whatever my parents say must definitely be right. As I'm older now, there are times where I can see they aren't always right, but thinking back to when I was younger... I really can't pick out a thing that my parents might have done wrong, besides what I'd mentioned about my mom and maybe this separation from my dad. And even then, it's tough to see it as "wrong".
The only family problem I can recall clearly was that my older sister was very rebellious during her teens and things would get ugly - lots of fighting, beating, quarreling, so forth...
Quote:
Originally Posted by StbGuy
Describe the feeling to me in words if you can. You said it was warm and fuzzy, and you saw her as a person for the first time. What else do you feel along with that?
|
Everything felt so natural, so comfortable. Felt like it was back to the norm. Also during that time, I found I was able to carry on with my life better. For once in this horrible year, I was able to fulfill my to-do plans entirely, stay on track with life, and stay focused with my work. I felt like a normal person again, capable of doing and achieving anything.
Maybe I might have truly liked her at that time after all, but at the same time I can't help but think it was only temporary. Afterwards it would go back to the toxic relationship, where all I would want to do is control her. Maybe she was just like a drug, and that was - is, since things went horrible in the end anyway - the high before going back to the down low.