Hamster-bamster I will replie to both of your posts here.

Are you man or woman?

I would want that this what you said is true but Im so confused that I dont know what to think now.

I dont know if I could talk to my T about it but maybe I should. I dont think he would be honest with me. When I told him I am virgin he said somethig like- oh really I cant believe you are virgin, why? My friend told me that I look like a woman who man easy can have.

One of the stupid reasons why I like my relationships with mu bf is that I can live without my parents. Its too miserable to live with parents if you are 23 years old, isnt it? But I dont have enough money to live on my own. But the truth is that I still live more with my parents not with my bf because its nightmare to have sex with him everynight I spend with him.

Im afraid he could use information he knows about me against me.

The worst thing is that I might be pregnent and I think it was his plan . I dont want to go into details but his behaviour made me think this way. I said - abortion would be horrible so be honest with me. When I said that word- abortion he said- stop talkingthat negativly! I said- dont hope you will make another oone baby (he is father of 3 babies). I took the pill but its not 100% safe.

I know he was done so much harm to me but I dont believe I would find better one because all men seems the same.

When I told him that sex is painful he said that its only at the begining but if we will do it often everything will change.
I told him I want to die, he said - lets do it, I cant help you if you are sick.
When I confessed Im addicted tto drugs (all my friends know it except him), he said - oh thats the reason why you dont need sex, you have something better! I said I dont want to talk to him anymore and he said- who cares, I was honest thats all, I cant even be honest.

But... I cant lleave him. Call me stupid but I cant leave him. I still have iillusion he is perfect guy and I couldnt find anyone better.

I still think I couldnt talk about tthis with my T. How can he help me. Its hard tto talk about my relationship and sexual issues if Im in love with my T too.