Jean, your situation is so tough, but I think that you are overdoing being positive. Being positive does not feel natural to you, so it is draining your energy. Do you need something other than your overflowing plate to sap your energy?..

Your trying to be positive may be interpreted as your demanding that your H cheer up and get his act together - no wonder he snaps at you, full of resentment.

Positive thinking is grossly overrated. Try being congruent with reality instead. If you feel sad, do not force a smile.

As for the adolescents, they are picking up on how forced your being positive is FOR SURE. So you are not really fooling anyone with being positive. It is just counter-productive and an extra chore for you.