Its splitted feelings. He presents himself like perfect guy, he gives me everything and he reminds me all the time what good he did to me but I make him feel like a monk.
He looks perfect from the outside. The only bad thing he does to me is forcing me to have sex what seems normal.
I feel like he is a jerk because he hurts me so much but at the same time I think its all my fault. If I liked sex with him, everythinh would be okay. I feel so confused about it. Tommorow I will meet my friend and talk about it, its nice to have friend with who I can talk about those things too.
One more thing which makes me think that Im the one who is wrong is that one of my friends (boy) told me that its logical that man needs sex and if he cant get this from me, he will search for it anywhere else.

Yes Im in love with my T. Is it so important? Many people have crush on their Ts or some kind of attachment.