Quote:
Originally Posted by needarealitycheck
It is possible to miss someone and "hate" them at the same time. I think it is just you're hurting, and it will take time to get over.
There is different things coming. Give yourself time to heal. I hope you can see a therapist somehow to get professional help.
The only way to shake the humiliating and painful memories is to let them be, you can't push them away, in my opinion.
I hope things get better and you don't give up.
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Im stuck with incredibly strong regret and self-blame. I remember exactly what i did what made her lose respect and feelings for me. I feel so disgusted by my actions. I left them alone for 30 minutes one time and let him buy her very expensive present because she asked it. Still cant forgive myself for it. Sex with me was so bad for her, i couldnt last more than 8 minutes, so she wasnt satisfied. I said so stupid and pathetic words to her, still cant believe how i could say it. Like my life is empty and boring without her. Like i dont like my life in general and she is my only hope. How could i be such blind and dumb idiot? Any girl would dump boy if he starts behave like i did. Now i see that everything that happened is my fault only. How to live with this? I cant take it anymore. Im out of money and cant afford any more therapy.