Quote:
Originally Posted by lunatic soul
Its splitted feelings. He presents himself like perfect guy, he gives me everything and he reminds me all the time what good he did to me but I make him feel like a monk.
He looks perfect from the outside. The only bad thing he does to me is forcing me to have sex what seems normal.
I feel like he is a jerk because he hurts me so much but at the same time I think its all my fault. If I liked sex with him, everythinh would be okay. I feel so confused about it. Tommorow I will meet my friend and talk about it, its nice to have friend with who I can talk about those things too.
One more thing which makes me think that Im the one who is wrong is that one of my friends (boy) told me that its logical that man needs sex and if he cant get this from me, he will search for it anywhere else.
Yes Im in love with my T. Is it so important? Many people have crush on their Ts or some kind of attachment.
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I see. If you have a crush on your T, why don't you tell him that? They are supposed to have been educated and trained to handle that.
You wrote that the guy tells you all the time what good he did for you. You then wrote that the only bad thing about him is that he forces sex on you. Really? That he forces sex on you now, in light of what you have written about him, seems to be a minor issue. Non a non-issue, but a minor issue. A guy who is telling you all the time what good he did for you must be annoying as hell! If you are not annoyed, THAT is what needs to be discussed with the T, and since that kind of thing involves sex only tangentially, you should have no trouble bringing it up with the T. You lack some very basic, core self-preservation instinct. Something is missing. I was like this - the context was somewhat different, but still, I allowed a guy to tell me how good he was for me... a rescuer, almost... and first, when I finally revolted, it was against that in reality he damaged me a lot - almost caused my death. But now I see that even if it were true that somebody does something good for their partner, rubbing it in STILL would be bad behavior.
And your friend (a boy) is clueless as well. Why are young people so clueless these days... unbelievable.
If anybody tells you that they NEED sex, politely suggest that they go someplace else, because it is not your role to satisfy NEEDS. Tell them that you only deal with men who DESIRE you, FANCY you, etc., but NOT NEED SEX FROM YOU. Tell them to go find a way to satisfy their needs because you are not in that kind of business, but thank you very much for the offer unfortunately we are not a match and I wish you luck in your future endeavors... that kind of thing.
You also keep talking about normal vs not normal on the thread. So you are concerned about where you are on the normal vs normal line. I can tell you that your idolizing him for everything he does except for the sex issue is completely abnormal. Maybe that idolization is linked to your crush on the T - you do not seem to have relationships with real people, but more with idealized images of them in your mind. That you do not get annoyed when the bf elevates his status in all possible means seems to be a signal that you had to tolerate bad conduct as a child and became desensitized to it. A normal woman would find your bf's self-congratulatory style nauseating, and that would not be a cerebral, conscious, intellectual reaction - it would be a physiological reaction... a response to a gut feeling she trusts...