Very complicated! You are afraid of making a mistake, so first thing (see Angelique's post above) is to ensure that you would not get pregnant. Getting pregnant now would be the biggest mistake for you. So maybe take care of that (the pill is very effective, but only if you take it consistently) and then you'd feel more assured of yourself and less afraid to make a mistake.

Also, I think that you need to tell the T about the crush. Hopefully he will be able to process it with you and the intensity of the feeling would subside for you.