Hi Ad Intra. We are all complex beings conditioned by circumstances all around us. We are caught in the webs of the past and we can get out. It takes determination and the will to try to reach out to others especially those that need help.
You know you can PM me or any other Community Liason, and for a quicker response make sure they are online.

There are many resources here to help you and it is your choice to reach out and accept the resources that are here for you. Others go through what you are going through. That is why the forums are here so we can help each other get through the darkness that surrounds us sometimes.