When I was 2 my mom took off, leaving me & my sister with my dad. She came & went throughout my childhood, leaving a path of destruction in her wake. I grew up feeling less than human, she abandoned me and I never knew why. The times I spent with her were scarred by her alcohol abuse and subsequent verbal abuse. I still loved her, tho. As I became an adult I gained the understanding that parents are only human, so we developed a mostly healthy relationship and I learned so much from her. We had a good repor. But when I was 25 she quickly picked up & moved 15 hours away, and never visited. Again, abandoned without explanation. But, soon I started calling regularly and our relationship grew again. For 12 years she lived away from me and my sister and her grandchildren. Then when given 3-6 months to live she demanded we bring her home. I got to see her 3 times and she got to meet my twins, and Tuesday morning she went with God, and I feel like I'm 2 again and wonder why she's left me. All is forgiven, and had been long ago, but I'm still a small child looking for hermommy