"I may sound sharp but I'm taking the time with lots of compassion to express my unusual point of view"

Well, I don't think you sound sharp at all, lol. You jump to a lot of conclusions here. The lady's efforts to make her husband feel she can accept anything if he will make her a part of all aspects of his life, including sexual activity, are not working. Probably he should get some serious professional help before he and his wife both start to despair and lose each other.

If he does go in for help, he should be himself and talk honestly about what he is doing, why he thinks he does it, how he views his wife's reactions. It might be best if he did not go in self-diagnosed as emotionally dead with a wife who is threatened by men with an emotional pulse.

I hope you don't mind that I did not start with "dearest" and end with "love". Those words can almost sound sarcastic if used at odd times, can't they?