well here is what on my mind .....
i grew up in horrible living conditions....mold on walls ... parents are horders...
never had one friend over threw grade school - high school ... my dad is an alcoholic ... has terrible human skills ... rude to everyone he meets even my friends parents ect... terribly mean to my mother....cant really understand the way he acts... i grew up not knowing my older brother and older sister because of them... but i do have relationships with them as of now.. .. i had chance to get out of this situation by moving in with my brother which i lived with for 15 months but i screwed it up by being out with friends to much and staying out late.... i just felt like i was finally living a semi normal life for the first time in my life and kinda of took advantage of the situation.... and got kicked out..this was about 5 months ago... soo i find myself living back in the house i grew up in which is in a worst condition now then i was before ... ive never had a girlfriend before... feel awkward in public some days.... i blame it on my childhood.... i just cant really come to terms with how messed up my current situation is. i want to fix it... for myself and start fresh.. so i can forget all this .. but i really dont know how ....