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Originally Posted by robparker
I kind of feel that I'm slowly building up skills in different areas. But that is happening really really slowly. And that is a lot of times the source of my frustration. And yes, it seems like I just can't finish anything.
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I think you know it's because you simply don't have the time to do everything. You're turning into a Jack of All Trades…but a master of None. It's not the worse thing to do in life by any means but you run into not really being an expert on anything. From someone who's been in a similar situation, it really messes with you.
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One of my biggest questions lately has become "What am I actually trying to achieve with this?"
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This is an excellent question. Ask yourself this about every activity and whittle down things that are just cool to do every now and then and spend more time doing the one or 2 things that you really really like. Yes, you have to pick only one or 2. lol
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Say I like painting. But do I paint every day just for the joy of the process? No. What I will do instead I will go to the internet and start reading about the techniques. Then I will go shopping for paints and canvas. The I will spend hours and hours looking at works of artists on the internet, trying to come up with references of the style and technique that I would like to do. Then I will actually try to do it. I will be most likely unhappy with the result, and maybe do everything I have just described once again. It all looks like I am actually afraid of the process, and afraid of the result, because a lot of the time I come from the assumption that my results will be "not good".
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Even pro artists will say that reference-shopping is good but at some point, you have to shut up and draw. (that's what I tell myself to kick myself into gear, shut up and draw). The ONLY way you ultimately get good at things is by doing it. Set a time-line for your activities. As someone stated earlier, give your work a good 8 hours and actually schedule time in your days and weeks for other things. Don't just do hobbies when you feel like it, write down to-do lists.
I like knitting, sewing and illustration but I also have a part-time job. I work my job 25-30 hours a week but I schedule maybe 15 hours a week outside of that for drawing and then work on my knitting a bit before going to sleep at night. I like sewing less than those other things so I take a day or two a month to really work on sewing projects. I don't use my knitting time to look up things for my art. Each activity has to stay in it's lane. Any time researching is spent NOT doing an actual activity.
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So why do I want it then? That is the question. It looks to me like some little child inside of me just wants to impress the world, but at the same time is not sure what exactly to do.
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You are the only one who can answer this for sure but I'd say that since the process of things is so important, go with whatever process you enjoy the most. Having a decent end result is nice but not when it sucks out your soul. Don't quit your ob though, phase it out gently.