Quote:
Originally Posted by JaneTennison1
Rigid boundaries work for some people but not others. I think finding the T whose boundaries match yours is the most important thing.
My T will accept gifts of things that are free to me (tomatoes from my garden, a copy of a cd she had said she wanted) but nothing elaborate. She will not do hugs and I am fine with that as I would not want hugs at all. She responds when I am in crisis and has emailed me supportive things in the past.
I think if a T had strict boundaries and a client didn't or vice versa would be a big issue.
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Perfect post.
I have no rigid boundaries myself at all but when it comes to medical professionals I much prefer, no, I demand rigid boundaries. No touching when unnecessary, and especially no hugs. Too many times I had been caught up in ambiguous situations that induced stress. To me dealing with situations like that is very uncomfortable and my default is
do not touch me.
Sometimes I don't like when they talk too much in emotional situations. I think it serves to soothe them in the first place, so they won't lose control.
So much can be achieved solely by the tone of voice, speed of speech, intonation, words chosen. Here hugs are safe
Responding to emails or texts in crisis I imagine is part of the job. Sincere
thank you is enough.