I wonder if this is what's underlying your pain? Not just in this instance, but in an overall sense of her not being part of your life in the way you would like/need?

I agree with others who have said you weren't being abusive. It does read as accusatory, though, when she was just trying to convey that she cared to the extent she can with the limited parameters you've set (can't afford, will never afford, going to die).

I'm not sure what she could have said that would have been okay with you in this very dark state you're in. If she hadn't said "I'm here," but had said she was sorry you're broke and wished you the best, or said nothing, would that have been okay?

It just seems that your relationship with her might be what's driving your despair, so anything she says at this point is going to feel insensitive to you because you will never have the kind of relationship with her that you crave.

I don't mean to be unkind with these comments, but I've been in that place where it's hard to hear or see people's true intentions.

On the job note, please try not to accept as fact that you will never hold down a good job. You can dig your way out of this. It's not over.