Quote:
Originally Posted by Nature1968
I don't call that abusive but a bit harsh , and she was trying to help you and you kind of snaped at her .
I would just say sorry for snapping at you , just to clear the air you know .
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Thanks - yes I know I was snappy, in fact that was the exact word I used when I sent an apology email (which she won't have read, I sent it before I knew she was not going to communicate with me anymore today) that it had been ruder than I wanted and I was sorry for snapping.
Quote:
Originally Posted by licketysplit
I wonder if this is what's underlying your pain? Not just in this instance, but in an overall sense of her not being part of your life in the way you would like/need?
I agree with others who have said you weren't being abusive. It does read as accusatory, though, when she was just trying to convey that she cared to the extent she can with the limited parameters you've set (can't afford, will never afford, going to die).
I'm not sure what she could have said that would have been okay with you in this very dark state you're in. If she hadn't said "I'm here," but had said she was sorry you're broke and wished you the best, or said nothing, would that have been okay?
It just seems that your relationship with her might be what's driving your despair, so anything she says at this point is going to feel insensitive to you because you will never have the kind of relationship with her that you crave.
I don't mean to be unkind with these comments, but I've been in that place where it's hard to hear or see people's true intentions.
On the job note, please try not to accept as fact that you will never hold down a good job. You can dig your way out of this. It's not over.
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Well, yeah. Saying 'I'm here' seemed like an untruthful thing to say to me when we both know she cannot be 'here' because I can't book a session.
It made me mad because I was kind of holding it together when I sent the email, thanking her for everything and saying how much she meant to me. I was calm and coping. Then she asked several times if I was coming and I kept repeating no I can't afford it. And then saying 'I'm here' hit some kind of nerve.
I don't read your remarks as unkind at all - thank you. My mind is really warped right now so I am very thankful for the insight.