Honestly, I think you know you could have been less snappy, but I think you were definitely not "abusing" your T. It's the T's job to handle anger, transference, frustration, whatever; as the client, obviously you have some issues you are working through and obviously you are going through a really tough time right now and have no reason to be "on your best behavior" for your T. It's your T; you're supposed to be able to just be yourself and act the way you feel in that moment. I think the only time a client is ever "abusing" a T is if they threaten them, harm them physically, or do other things that might make their T feel unsafe. Being snappy is not "abusing" a T. It's an occupational hazard, and if your T doesn't know that, then she might not be particularly suited to this profession. Her issue, not yours. Hope things get a bit better for you.