Havent been on in a while. I just get busy or too upset to do anything anymore. Its so hard. My emotions are going crazy. I am super happy that my long distance boyfriend is back home, but it is also hard because I know that I have to still go to school. And deal with a lot of other things. He does make things better, but he came back to a different person. A person who feels like getting dressed in the morning is a huge accomplishment. I love being around him because he instantly knows how to make me feel better. But he also has never been around me while I have had a panic or anxiety attack. I try to explain it all to him, but he just keeps saying, well you never had that when we first got together. Well that was well over two years ago. I have changed and accepted how I am and my illness now. I just dont hide it anymore. I guess what I am saying is that I am doing better than ever I think. Its just when I am low, the low seems lower than ever before. Just gotta keep on moving. And try to get through it all. Christmas break is coming soon. Only two more weeks of school and I will be done.