I don't know that she should have used the word "abuse", but I do think that abuse can be very subjective and personal. It's not always black and white.

Nonetheless, if she felt abused then she felt abused. This is your T so I would hope she could deal with it and wait to talk to you about it in person, should that time come. I also think that since you're in a crisis it is even more important she try to talk over the phone or in person...but doing this over email is not ideal. Too many chances for misunderstandings.