Quote:
Originally Posted by Freewilled
I don't know that she should have used the word "abuse", but I do think that abuse can be very subjective and personal. It's not always black and white.
Nonetheless, if she felt abused then she felt abused. This is your T so I would hope she could deal with it and wait to talk to you about it in person, should that time come. I also think that since you're in a crisis it is even more important she try to talk over the phone or in person...but doing this over email is not ideal. Too many chances for misunderstandings.
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Well, she has no phone, but she could have picked up the clinic phone if she had thought it more appropriate.
Regarding the bit I have highlighted in bold - ordinarily I would say yes. That the person needs to speak their truth in any personal relationship. However, in therapy, I don't know - I triggered something in her with my choice of words and she reacted, but is that not 'her stuff' as opposed to mine?
Unless she feels I have been slowly and insidiously emotionally abusing her over the whole course of our relationship
I don't
think she thinks that, though.
The best bit of my therapy, I would have said, is that we both know there's plenty of love and concern for the other person flowing in both directions.
Quote:
Originally Posted by StressedMess
My T would tell me to let go of my black and white, all or nothing thinking. That I can't say today that this or that thing will never happen, because that discounts my ability to change, grow, learn. My T would tell me that I'm developing my growing edge. My T likes to point out the flaws in my thinking patterns.
Your T spontaneously said "abuse" whether knowing it was insensitive or trying for shock value, or it just slipped out in the heat of the moment.
Sounds like my T practices diplomacy and your T is real. I can appreciate acting very "in and of the moment" but at the same time, why use such a triggering catch-phrase?
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I don't know
I had a csa flashback this evening, and decided to do as I would normally do and fire off an email to my T. I found myself hesitating to type the word 'abuse' because I felt unsure. Managed to get around it, though. But that's editing and not supposed to be happening *bangsheadondesk*
Quote:
Originally Posted by brokenwarrior
I find it odd that she stated that she was not going to continue the conversation any further today, especially through email... yet she sent another email on this topic. maybe it's just me but this would bother me
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Well, she put it in a fresh email, I guess to disconnect it from our argumentive email thread. And if an emergency came up, it came up, she can't help that. So now, of course, I am worried that something scary or bad has happened to her and that she is upset.
Why is it all so complicated.