Thank you for reaching out to us.

Ok, so you have bought a new knife. I'm assuming you have not yet used it? If so try not to be fearful - you may not need to use it. Sometimes we seek comfort in less obvious places.

Instead of distraction - could noticing these feelings and sitting with them a bit help to delay any action more effectively?

Just some thoughts. We all know hard it is and appreciate each others efforts. I too wish you the best in finding your way through this.