Thanks everyone for your input, it's most appreciated.

I'll try to respond to some of the questions and comments made above, as well as give you all a little more detail about other things regarding this issue.

I agree with you Rose, as did my ex-girlfriend. She told me I made the decision to chose, not my Mom. And it's something I definitely have to work at with myself to try and overcome.

My Mom ran the office for my Dad's business the entire time they were married. She also had a lot of other jobs in her life, both before getting married and while married. She worked at a bank, travel agency, sold cosmetics and jewellery, dabbled in real estate. She always had a passion to do stuff, and always kept herself busy. But since my Dad's death, and even a few years beforehand, she's really not done much of anything.

She doesn't have as many friends anymore either. She used to go out with "the ladies" from time to time, but not so much anymore. Her one close friend she's had since school is nearby, and they have lunch about once a month. Other than that, she pretty much stays at home all the time. No hobbies either.

She likes to blame everything on financial problems, that she can't afford to go out and do anything. We also have a diabetic cat who is a senior, and she needs to be given a shot of insulin twice a day. She also likes to use that as an excuse that she can't go anywhere or do anything. Not that it isn't really a excuse either, because we both love the cat, and we would never give her up, or put her down for no reason when she's perfectly healthy otherwise, but she's used this an excuse to not go out, even when I've said I'll stay home and look after the cat. I actually try to encourage her to go out more, but she doesn't.

Sitting down and having a "face to face" with her has never been the way my family has done things. One of the reasons I'm having so much difficulty with this epedmic is because since she last yelled at me in September and told me to end it with my girlfriend, I've stayed quiet ever since. This resentment, anger and hurt has been building and building inside of me, but I feel I can't talk with her about this at all. She'll call me crazy, and knowing her like I do, would probably say something like, "Fine, go to your *****!" So I just bottle it up inside and go about my work, saying nothing.

I would love nothing more for her to do that, but she'd never in a million years do it. She considers therapy for quacks, and then there's the whole issue of the cost of it, which she'd surely use as another excuse. Her friend has even told her she should see someone, because she seems depressed all the time.

I would love to go to therapy myself and deal with my own issues regarding this, but my Mom always needs to know where I'm going and what I'm doing, always. And she would never approve of me seeing a therapist either. My friends have said they would cover for me, and even lie if need be if I wanted to go see someone. But as I stated in my first post, when I lived on my own, I let my parents come and go to my apartment as they pleased, because I had nothing to hide from them (to an extent). That has somewhat carried on in our new living arrangements; so all the bank and credit card statements, she see's them all, and would surely question a charge of a therapist. So I don't know how I'm going to be able to do that one.

For sure, I think she's still having a hard time with it. I think she's also dealing with a losing a lot of people in her life, going back all the way to 1990, when her Mother (my Grandmother) passed away. Her Dad (my Grandfather) remarried a few years later, and she's resented him and his new wife ever since. Not to say that his new wife and family are a bowl of peaches either, but that's entirely another story, but I know it does add to the mix of her issues.

My Mom has been very negative over the last several years as well. Especially about how the world has gone to hell, people being so stupid, no common sense, etc. And I'll be the first to admit, some of that negativity has rubbed off on me; my friends tell me they see it all the time.

But there's still the fact that I'd always suspected that she'd react in a negative way to me dating or having a girlfriend. And my suspicions came true; not that I knew exactly what she would say or do, but she did react negatively. I've been digging deep into my past, trying to figure out where that's come from, and why I've always felt that way. I don't recall her ever saying or doing anything, so I'm at a loss, other than it was just intuition and knowing my Mother better than I realized.

And since this entire ordeal has happened, I've picked up other things from her, more negativity obviously. But things that feel to me like subliminal messages. For example, she watches Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune every night during dinner. A lot of the time when there's a female contestant on, she'll always say "how ugly that woman is", or "where do they find these stupid women". She never comments about the men, it's always the women. To me, that feels like her trying to tell me that there's no one out there for me, so don't even consider looking for a mate because they're all just no good. Maybe I'm wrong, I don't know?

In one way, I'm kind of glad this all happened, simply because it's opened my eyes, I mean it really opened my eyes. And it's given me the motivation to move forward and make some drastic changes in my life. Like I said previously, it can't or won't happen tomorrow. Again, finances are an issue, and I plan on going back to work full time the start of the new year. I would go now, but the big project that has the potential to move my career forward, well I'm working on it as we speak, and it will be completed at the end of January. But any real results from it won't been seen until late 2015. But I plan to spend the majority of next year getting "my house" in order, with the intention of moving out by the end of it, or early 2016. The only thing that sucks about it, is that it's another year of my life gone. And like I said, I'm kind of glad this did happen, because it's given me a reality check. It's just too bad it didn't happen sooner in life for me, cause I ain't getting any younger.

You phrased it pretty much the exact way one of my friends did, one who I've known since high school. That was just it, I completely skipped that phase of my life. I think being an only child added to that pressure, plus my parents could be very strict; they always expected better from me. So I always did what I was told, and always tried to do the responsible thing.

I agree with you to a point, as I've thought about that. Moving to the other side of the city won't help, you're right. She'll expect keys, and go through my things. It's funny you mention condoms, because I purchased condoms when I was living on my own, and kept them under the sink in my bathroom. Not that I was actually seeing anyone, but they were there for a "just-in-case" moment happened. But you nailed it, Trippin. I did exactly that back then yet, I threw them out so that my Mom wouldn't find them, because I knew she'd freak out.

But back to the point of moving out - just moving out alone isn't going to work. And my Mom has told me several times that both her and my Dad still lived at home until they got married. So it's obvious to me that she doesn't want me leaving her. But because of my career aspirations, I really should move 1,700 miles away to California. I think that's the only real way to make it work, moving literally half-way across the continent. That's the goal, and hopefully something that will give me more independence.

As far as my ex-GF is concerned, I haven't spoken with her in over a month. That is until she texted me the other day, asking me to please come back to the gym, and that I was missed. One of my friends said I need and should go, and that I shouldn't stop going there because my Mom feels threatened by her and the people I associate with there. And he's right. So I'm going back tomorrow night for the first time in a month. We'll see how it goes.

Reconciling with my ex-GF - I don't think that'll happen. For one, she's moved on and is seeing someone else. And two, I feel really bad for dragging her into my emotional mess, and it's completely unfair to her. I think all we can ever be at this point is just friends, even though I wish it could be more than that between us.