Quote:
Originally Posted by robparker
One of my biggest questions lately has become "What am I actually trying to achieve with this?" Say I like painting. But do I paint every day just for the joy of the process? No. What I will do instead I will go to the internet and start reading about the techniques. Then I will go shopping for paints and canvas. The I will spend hours and hours looking at works of artists on the internet, trying to come up with references of the style and technique that I would like to do. Then I will actually try to do it. I will be most likely unhappy with the result, and maybe do everything I have just described once again. It all looks like I am actually afraid of the process, and afraid of the result, because a lot of the time I come from the assumption that my results will be "not good".
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I can't tell you how much I identify with this! That is more or less my process, although I often lose interest in the project for 6-12 months immediately after purchasing the supplies. This is probably a lot more common than you think (except for doing all of this at work instead of during free time). I have other friends who also struggle to overcome this.
I have found it helpful to remind myself that certain types of projects I always fail at or give up on. I like the idea of sewing, but I do not like the actuality of trying to sew straight seams. I like the idea of knitting my own pot holders, but I don't like doing it.
I have also stopped the practice of buying supplies before my research is complete. I no longer allow myself to buy supplies until I am ready to sit down THAT DAY to work on the project.
But I still engage in this behavior with projects that don't cost money or require supplies, jumping from one software project to another, one writing project or business idea to another. It's really, really hard to quit it and control it.
I hope we can both reign it in when we should be working!! I also found meditation and exercise outdoors helped me focus, but I haven't been consistent about it.