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Old Dec 03, 2014, 11:42 AM
Bill3 Bill3 is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 10,966
Quote:
Reconciling with my ex-GF - I don't think that'll happen. For one, she's moved on and is seeing someone else.
Maybe she moved on because you were not available. Maybe she would not move on if you were available. Wouldn't it be worthwhile to find out? She did contact you. Maybe she misses you too.

Quote:
And two, I feel really bad for dragging her into my emotional mess, and it's completely unfair to her.
She can be the judge of that.

Here is a little experiment, which scenario looks better?:

Scenario 1: "Ex-gf, I'd like for us to be together again I suffered without you over the last few months, I've missed you terribly. But I know this can never happen because it isn't fair to you to drag you into my mess and, in all honesty, I don't think you can handle it or or should want to."

Scenario 2: "Ex-gf, I'd like for us to be together again. I suffered without you over the last few months, I've missed you terribly. I can see now that I was wrong to choose my mother over you. I am determined to change my life. If we are together again, I know you will help me and with your help, together we will make it happen. What do you think?"

Quote:
I think all we can ever be at this point is just friends, even though I wish it could be more than that between us.
You can spend your life wishing for more...or you can take steps, now, to get more.

Same thing about seeing a therapist. Are you going to do what is best for you...or are you going to let your mother continue her total control?

You speak of a year from now. You said that it is another year gone. yes. But it does not have to be that way. The issue isn't where you live or where you get your mail. The issue is making a simple decision that you are going to start seeking what you wish for, and having privacy, whether or not your mother yells at you or speaks unkindly about your friends.

People here can help you make the decision, and help you deal with her, once you make the decision. A good therapist can definitely help you make the decision, and help you deal with her, once you make the decision.

Now is a great time to start to free yourself. Go to the gym. Call your ex-girlfriend. See a therapist. Live your life!
Thanks for this!
Trippin2.0