I've read this argument before, that if you "act out" a feeling it makes it less available to discuss... Is this what you think Stopdog? I get that you don't want hugs (I assume) and with some ex therapists I didn't either. Now I have one I have a strong urge to hug and we do hug, but I'm also able to think about and at times even discuss the underlying feelings... So I suppose I reject the idea "acting out" makes me less able to know what I'm feeling. I've hugged my T and told him what I'm feeling, and been well aware and discussed my "neediness" for him. In my mind the hugs haven't hurt me, but of course I'm not objective to answer that either. I do think if my T rejected me it would hurt. I would take it personally somehow, I would assume I'm repulsive, stupid, undesirable, all the things my depression has told me I am... That's what I think anyways.

Or another example, let's say I'm angry at my mother (as a kid) and I lash out by breaking and destroying her property. Does that make me less able to comprehend my anger, or not?