I think they hurt much more than they help. I think that if a client often challenges boundaries, for example keep asking personal questions about the T, then I think the T should show more clear boundaries. But to refuse accepting a gift or step back if a client wants to give the T a hug, that´s going to far as long as the client hasn´t crossed other boundaries before.

What I though think is that it´s very difficult to choose a T out of the kind of boundaries he or she sets. Perhaps some people would dare asking, for example if the T do give hugs but I would feel way too embarrased to even ask. I could at most ask a new T if her or she accepts e-mails or something similar on the same level.

For me I would want (I´m looking for a new T at the moment) a T that can share a bit of personal things and who´s also willing to give a hug from time to time. However, at some times hugging can be difficult as well, if I would start crying, then it would only feel very embarrasing, really like being a little child.

A rigid T with rigid boundaries I see is suitable for those not having problems that stems from some kind of abandonment or childhood issues. They won´t lack a personal attitude as much as those who feel perhaps abandoned.