I know it must really be hard to deal with her constant chatter about this staff member. It is an infatuation and will pass. You just need to figure out if you can stand by and let it run it's course and still be at peace. There isn't much you can do about it at this point unless you want to call off the relationship.

Regardless of what she does, you need to stay strong in your fight against self-harm. And I know how hard that can be. I've been there. Don't let someone else affect how you treat yourself. Hang in there.